Conversation With Two Coworkers About Something Gross
JASMINE: Brad, do you eat ass?
BRAD: No. I don’t.
JASMINE: Would you eat ass?
BRAD: It depends on the ass, I guess. And the girl whose ass it is.
JASMINE: Would you eat Rosie O’Donnel’s ass?
BRAD: No.
JASMINE: For $100,000?
BRAD: Yes.
JASMINE: Would you eat Bill Gates’ ass for $100,000?
BRAD: …Yes. I’m gonna say yeah, I think I would.
(PRINCESS enters)
PRINCESS: After he took a shit?
BRAD: I dunno. Maybe. That’s a lot of money.
JASMINE: Princess, do you eat ass?
PRINCESS: No! But my husband does.
JASMINE: Eww!
PRINCESS: From the front to the back.
BRAD: Ugh.
PRINCESS: He loves it. Only after I shower.
JASMINE: So you like that? You think that feels good?
PRINCESS: Not really. I’d prefer if he didn’t.
BRAD: You don’t even like it?
PRINCESS: No.
BRAD: Wow, he must really like doing it, I guess, if he knows you don’t even like it.
PRINCESS: Yeah, he’s nasty.
JASMINE: I think eating ass is disgusting.
BRAD: Jasmine, why are you thinking about it so much? Did someone do that to you?
JASMINE: No. But one time a guy put his finger in my ass.
BRAD: How was that?
JASMINE: It was okay, I guess. Not that bad. But then he licked it!
PRINCESS: Ewww!
BRAD: Ewww!
(Princess’s husband enters with their newborn baby in stroller)
ALL THREE: Hiiiiii!!!
